I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
