oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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