maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
