i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
