I'm going to jail i love you
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
