I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
