i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
