dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
