Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
