Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
