Are we in a gay sports bar?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
