I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
