Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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