1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
