i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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