What did we do last night that was yellow?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
