I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
