so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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