before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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