i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
