My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
