Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
