wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
