Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
