Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
