No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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