i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
