im gay
i know
yea but for you.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
