Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
