just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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