The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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