you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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