We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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