He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
