So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
