This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
