I skipped work to stalk him.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
