i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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