you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
