i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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