I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
