2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
