Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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