im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
