4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
