OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
