Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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