Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
