if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
