Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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