Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
