Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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