why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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