This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
